My life lately…in no particular order…
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- Cone Crawl!
“I have a whole box of leftover pizza so i’m trying to eat it so I can eat healthy“- Dallas
“Did you ask me for queens? Uh-oh.”- Gramma
Francie: I am going to have to start a blog because of all the funny things my children say.
Annelise: All the funny things WE say?
“I would be very happy living in a trailer park and not have to be classy.” – Francie
“All my life I’ve been good but now,
oh-oh-oh,
I’m thinking ‘What the hell’ ”
“This is the most fun I’ve ever had for $6!” – me
This makes me feel nauseous.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
“Oh, my gosh. You’re so weird. I want a dinner role“- Kacy
If I dont have all of the information I cant make the best decision.
“If I have children?”-me
“You will have children. A million children”-Kacy
“Thats a lot“-me
“A C cup.” – Lyle
In debating the use of the word sex in words with friends with her daughter I asked…
“So, sex would be okay”-me
“Of course! You are free to have sex with whomever you want. Im not sure why you’re asking me though.”- Francie
“I knew that was going to be your answer. And, don’t worry thats not something I feel the need to get your permission for :)”-me
“Well, I figured that since you had never asked me before. My alternate answer was ‘Id love to have sex with you!’ But it sounded too Ben Rush“- Francie
“That just goes to show you can sell anything. Even a product that means a festering pimple on your face“- Aunt Elizabeth
“Pretty pretty please, don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less than, less than perfect ”
“The question is do you want to eat out of a big box or a little box?“-Erika
“What like do we want individual pizzas or not?”-me
“No, the question is do you want Pizza or Chinese”-Erika.
“But I LIKE the Texas Chainsaw Massacre bracelet!” – Francie
“Kacy’s trashed but don’t let her know that you know”
“I’m an optimist. It doesn’t seem much use to be anything else.”— Winston Churchill.
“We were hanging out drinking and than all of a sudden I was drunk“-Kacy
“A guy actually proposed at the Pig Races. He let her win, then he proposed and she said yes.” – Guy at the booth
“Oh, your taller than Hillary”- Jackie (referring to Hannah and super excited) If it makes you feel any better I still have to look up to you“- Jackie
It just feels wrong.
“I never remember this password”-me
“Thats because it’s a really nerdy password“- Jenna
“JoJo the Black Bear Cub!”
“You should have! I would’ve answered and we would’ve chatted about lovely things, such as fine dining and automobiles“- Rob Mobley
“Thats because shes big into anime“-Tara
“It looks like im going to have to take the scissors to all of you“- Aunt Elizabeth (to girlies regarding how long their hair is.)
“Well, it looks like im going to have to take an unexpected trip to Timbuktu“- Hannah
“Chocolate. Dipped. Bacon.” – Me, Willsey, and Francie
“Stupid boyfriends are rarely welcome“- Marci
“This is highly unlikely because A) I don’t like tattoos and B) Im not a Nazi”
Its just so sad.
“Your like Miss. Whats that word when people get around?”- But, in a good way“-Ashley
“Ill be freezing cold if i’m cold on the inside“- Erika
“I carefully considered the ramifications of my actions and I feel 97% safe”-Mike
“Im going to get up and get some chips so people don’t think i’m knocked up“-Ashley
“So, we learned something in Jamaica“- Jenna
“Well start popping out babies and put them in that school“-Heather Good
“Did you just say that to me“-me
“Im sorry I couldn’t resist“-Heather Good
“Maybe at the next ice cream shop we should just share“- Hannah
“What are you full?“-me
“No….“-Hannah (unsure)
“They both have bottomless ice cream stomachs“- Uncle Mike (referring to Aunt Elizabeth and I)
“Sometimes when I say everybody I don’t necessarily mean Ben“-Mike
“And, I will throw water in his face! Because it doesn’t hurt. And, than hell probably catch it in his mouth and spit it back on me“- Christine
“Its a good thing to carry around like bandaids, bug spray, and sunscreen.” -Ashley
Just go with the flow…see where it takes you.
“Hillary! I swear on my life and I love my life“-Andrea
“That coffee mug is like Phineas’s head“- Uncle Mike (Because its shaped like a triangle)
“Yeah right your already closing your eyes”-me
“I was praying silly goose“-Andrea
A lady never turns down a drink.
“It was a frozen dairy based dessert in a cone. It counts“- Uncle Mike
“So raise your glass if you are wrong
In all the right ways
All my underdogs, we will never be, never be
Anything but loud
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks ”
Joe: I’m literally in love with Geoff.
me: Me too
Joe: I want to rape his mouth with my tongue.
me: ewwwwwww
Joe: bahahah
too graphic?
me: a little…
“Stupider is a word so FU“- Francie Moon
“You’re not funny. Drop her off at the gas station“-Andrea
“You cant drop a gramma off at the gas station”- Mr. Whitman
Falafel is my gelato“-Francie Moon
“Burts Bees. Im not planning to kiss you by the way“- me
“Its okay either way. Ive known you long enough“- Christine
“Im big boobed and big wasted let me have little feet!”- Tara
Sometimes life is hard.
“Why are you whispering? Theres a big wall here“- Andrea
You need to talk.
“Im sorry i’m not your secret lover”
“What does the lavender cupcake taste like?- 12 year old girl
“Well its a butter cream frosting with a light lavender flavor“- Girl at counter
“Does it taste like purple?”- 12 year old girl
Its sad when a place you have always loved becomes a place where you don’t want to be.
I do not live in a bubble thank you.
“I tell you she can hear you“- Francie
“We cant hear them“- Lyle
“I just want to sing 1776 here… I cant help it.”-Heather Good
“I think we should get some brownies“-me
“Ones with marijuana in them.”- LB
“You love me because I made you breakfast. And, its not because I made you breakfast. Its because im that guy who made you breakfast“- Mike O.
“Im not good at shopping”- Christine
“PAH- LEASE!“-me
“Ive lost all my skills“-Christine
“Were just coming inside because of the bugs“- Andrea
“Come and wash your hands“- Guy working at the store
The Grandma is better 🙂
“My buy presents”- Christine
“Lets first investigate the grammar“- Jacob
I do love my duck key chain.
“So where are these chairs from?”
“Italy”
“You know that time in the movies where their like OOOOOH the kiss“- Heather Good
“Or loose European looking T-shirts“-Mrs. Goldman (via text message to Christine)
Philadelphia, NY, and Boston soooo fun!
How much is that doggy in the window?
“Don’t mess with my mothers math”-me
I miss my Scholl girls 🙂
“Watch. Are you ready to see it go vroom-vroom?”-Marci
Try to be positive it makes things much better.
I LOVE Disney. Its definitely magical!
“Okay ready, were gonna zoom“-Marci
I need traditions.
“Don’t you want to be him?”- Tara
“Yes, topless“- Willsey
“Can we skip school one day? So I can feed you donuts”
Thank you for coming.
“Are you still a good girl?”- Marci’s Dad
“Where else would gloves be but in the glove box“-Dad
“Remember when teachers, public employees, Planned Parenthood, NPR and PBS crashed the stock market, wiped out half of our 401Ks, took trillions in TARP money, spilled oil in the Gulf of Mexico, gave themselves billions in bonuses, and paid no taxes? Yeah, me neither.”
“Look their selling giant books“- Lyle (no laugh)
Francie walks up…
“Look their selling giant books“-Francie
(Moon Girls shake heads)
“I only change one persons channel. It is not a universal remote“-Bret
“Hillary are you gonna have some Tijuana Mexico stuff?“-gramma
“I should of pulled up my sunglasses and went see Im moderately attractive i’m wearing this unflattering romper but i’m attractive“- Willsey
“Happy Mothers Labor Day Anniversary“- Dad
“I was describing to my girlfriend how polite you are. And, when she asked how I said so polite that she’s polite in her sleep“- Austin Travis
“Gramma what would of happened if we had ears that were not close enough to our head?”-me
“I would have loved you but felt sorry for you“- Gramma
“I wonder if a vegetable peeler would work?”- Joe
“Yeah”-me
Joe goes and gets it.
“Oh, it does work!”-Joe
“Well a potato is a vegetable“-Phillie
“Yeah, but I thought it was only for carrots and stuff“-Joe
“Wait a minute! This isn’t the way to Valley Forge!”- Heather Good
“No trouble makers, fakers, phonies, or frogs certified beer drinkers only”
“There so involved“-Joe (regarding mashed potatoes)
“Have you met me? Im like feminist Suzy Homemaker if Im going to make something Im making it from scratch“-me
“Can you quote that please.”-Phillie
“They’re recruiting in palm coast ”
“So is the Klan”
“I’ve never been able to want to survive until that moment“- Jessie
“I need to go out and find the people who are accidentally hot“- Ashley
“Its not worth it. Its not worth losing your knees. Bad shits gonna happen”- Kacy
“I just want to drink this tea all the time. MMMMM.”- me
“Maybe they put crack in their tea“-Heather Good
“Its kind of like the reason im not a lesbian“-Ashley Willsey
“Shots-ski“- Kacy Bill
“I like how your old person voice is British“-Willsey
“When we grow old well become British“- Anneliese
“First of all we dont have to go we could always get small pox“- Ashley
“And she’s the most F***ed up. And, I just said that“-me
“Haha! I tricked you“- Kacy
“How are they getting so big?”-me
“I think its those damn hormones in the milk“-Willsey
“So, he brought down a bunch of my jewlry and put it by his cat food bowl. I think he was making an offering to the cat food gods to get more food“-Kacy
I sometimes do not communicate the best.
“As a result of my cookie baking“-Willsey
“Someones going to get a-salted over peanut butter. Pun unintended“-Kacy
“Come on Hillary be an anorexic teenager with me“-Willsey
“My sister calls me from Puerto Rico where its four in the morning there. And, the first thing she says is will mom be mad if I come home without shoes on? So I think A) She’s either sleep talking. B) She’s wasted or C) she’s been kidnapped is speaking in code and wants me to come help her”- Kacy
“You cant tell me I wouldn’t have the best childhood ever! You think the fairy wouldn’t teach him fruits and vegetables.”- Rob Mobley
“Will mom be mad if I come home without shoes?”
Kacy interpreting….
“The cow flys at midnight“- Kacy
“Get that fairy dust and hell grow like Lebron James“-Rob
“That parts not as funny“-me
“The road to paradise appears to be blocked“-Heather Good
“Im a grown up. I would not lose my shoes in Puerto Rico“- Kacy
“Hes the enigma your dating“-Heather Good
I think I may have a frozen yogurt problem…
Colorado Super Soon!
I must win.
Strawberry, pie, and garden festivals!
I’ll try to be better. I will try.
Forever…
Hillary
Random Thoughts 